What I'm Learning

In July I was the keynote speaker for the Mental Health Empowerment Project (MHEP) for the state of New York - at their annual meeting in Albany, New York. I have often given such talks at churches around the country. In a few instances I have found myself talking with "non-church" groups such as groups like community organizations, United Ways, or groups like ARC that organize communities of people who are labeled as disabled.

MHEP is an organization that is made up of folks who have been labeled with a psychiatric diagnosis, of service providers, and of family members of folks who carry such labels.

During the keynote I shared with the group some principles that we try to orient our life around. The first of these principles is "Never do something for someone that they can do for themselves." I have often repeated and shared these principles with the organizations I talked about earlier. And yet I never got the reaction before that I had gotten at MHEP.

When I said those words - the crowd clapped and cheered enthusiastically. Afterwards I pulled a few people aside and asked what that was about. They said "no one ever lets us do anything."

I thought of all the times that I have said to someone "I'll take care of that, don't worry about that" - because I don't think that someone is up to the task, for whatever reason.

It reminded me once again -- that the heart of true hospitality is not "serving someone" but giving someone the opportunity to serve. At least until these things get back into some sort of balance.

There are so many ways I feel myself caught in this unfortunate way of seeing fellow citizens as only those to be served - not as those from whom to receive. In the larger community there are opportunities to give that are open ended to some parts of the community - while really limited in other parts. Last night there was a neighborhood meeting here -- at the meeting someone (Miss Rose to be exact) got her hackles up because the facilitator said something like "you need to come to the development corporation and tell us what you think." She responded back "No, you need to come talk with and listen to, us." ("us" being the neighbors of this neighborhood -- whom the development corporation are there to "serve")

This same clashing of worlds and world views is present almost everywhere I find myself. I believe that it is truly possible for institutions to organize themselves to listen and act on what they hear -- as it is for them to act on what they think and never listen and never make room for others gifts. But it will take some reordering of our lives and of the ways in which they think. I'm learning something about that this summer.

A week after I had been in Albany I found myself in New York City to talk with some congregations. But I also got a chance to meet Beth Mount. Beth is an amazing person. Among many, many other things she is a tapestry or fabric artist (I don't even know if she would call herself that - I hope that's alright!). Her tapestries tell the stories of the people and communities to which she is connected. She showed me some beautiful, beautiful tapestries - that showed the gifts of people who are labeled as ungifted - but she revealed the real world, their real lives - that are hidden behind those labels. The tapestries she makes sing of a beautiful world. In a strange way they become both windows or lens through which I can see the world around me new - and also a mirror in which I can strive to recognize what I might truly have to offer, as well.

I'm learning a lot this summer.